B.E.R.O.C.

My dad hates Christmas. Actually, that's not fair. To say that would imply that he dislikes what Christmas is supposed to be. On the contrary, he thinks that Christmas should be about what it actually is, not the cluster is has become. Even saying it is difficult.

I get it, but I gotta say...I do enjoy a good Christmas cluster.

I like the buzz of the holiday shopping and the lights everywhere and the trees and traditions and songs and presents and Santa and flying reighndeer and wassail (mmmmm, wassail) and the MOVIES and...I just happen to think it's a magical time a year and kind of a big deal.

I do agree w/dear old dad on one point....people spend WAY too much money for Christmas. I love to see what the Neiman's Christmas catalog is going to have in it, but OMG. I'm all about getting my kiddos what they really want for Christmas, but if I have to participate in Black Friday doorbusters to get it at a price I can actually afford, forget it. In my opinion, standing in line outside in the cold at 2:00am for "that" Best Buy doorbuster is mucho stupido!

So, in the spirit of keeping things in control and not turning this holiday into something it really shouldn't be, I present to you the Blackwood Esty Rules Of Christmas. They are a lot like the rules that we had last year, just an amendment or two.

1. You may not spend more than $10 on each person.
2. Price tags must be left on the gift AND a receipt must be produced if requested.
3. A gift of an iPad or iPhone will immediately lead to a DQ from this Christmas AND next and must be forfeited to the judge (me). Actually, this may be a good option for you, Dad, if you were looking for an easy out. Just sayin'.
4. Stockings are not included in the $10 gift giving, but a judge's ruling may be required if a significantly large gift is slipped into a stocking in hopes of avoiding "the rules".
5. This year, it is allowed to pool your money to get a gift for one person that is more than $10. For example, let's say I really want to get my dad a Brittney Spears greatest hits CD. But, uh oh, it's $15. If my mom wants to chip in her $10 that she has for my dad, then we can get it for him.
6. Cheaters make God cry. Ok, this is not a rule but rather a reminder.
7. Tax does not have to be included in the $10. It's a nice touch if you can do it, but not required.
8. You must be between the ages of 10 and 90 to participate. These rules do not apply to those outside the age range. There is really nothing to argue here. If you are, say 93, you are entitled to get whatever you want.

So there they are....the rules of Christmas. You honor the integrity of Christmas, you give some gifts that you actually had to put some thought into and everyone is happy. Well, except for Best Buy. UNLESS I get dad's Brittney Spears CD there. Then they'll be happy, too.